Stephanie Newton Books

1. Coyotes. Anything that looks like a dog but isn’t, and eats livestock…shudder.
2. Mutant mosquitoes. I probably got that new disease out of Africa, the one that the enormous freaky striped mosquitoes carry. Any mosquito that can create a breeze as it flies by is too stinking big.
3. It’s too hot to exercise. Seriously, when it’s 98% humidity and you’re sweating inside the house, it’s crazy to go outside. (First day of fall? Ha!)
4. Bats. Enough said.
5. Serial killers. (It’s possible that I have watched a few too many Criminal Minds episodes…but it’s safer to stay inside, am I right?).
6. Raccoons. They’re nocturnal…and they carry rabies. I really don’t want my obituary to say, “Bit by a rabid raccoon.”

A few things that made it bearable:
1. Thinking of the most insane complaints possible and making my daughter laugh.
2. Double dog daring her to make a sand angel in the bunker on the golf course.
3. Calling her names when she made fun of my huffing and puffing.
4. Knowing I got to watch the new episode of House when I got home. My reward!